Poop accidents at school

February 22, 2016, 2:51 pm

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Hi All,


My 3.5 old son having poop accidents at school. He is potty trained a year back. He will go alone at home,I will help him to wipe..His teachers are complaining that he is not telling and doing in his pants. He joined school on January. This is second time in this month. We keep telling him,if it comes say"I want to go poopi " . He is telling to us, but not to his teacher.
He is going to school for 3 days in a week..usually he will do in afternoons after coming from school. For this reason, I'm not able to give breakfast for him.only milk in morning and he will be having snacks at 10.30. If I give dosa/chapati on that day he will poop at school...so I stopped giving breakfast on school days... I'm very very guilty for doing this...sometime his teacher will tell "he is tired today",I know he was hungry...he like bananas very much. He will have 2 or 3 bananas as a snacks on leave days. But I'm getting afraid to give banana thinking next day he may poop at school.....


His teacher already told about potty training policies,these are signs for not ready for school,he is young and all. Any advise please.....

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Need Suggestions!!!

February 22, 2016, 3:53 pm

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Hello Ils

I am married for 4 years, no kids yet.
I am studying and working part time, my H is working full time.
Last week we had to take a loan of 10k for my studies, yesterday my H transfered that amount to an unknown person , when i asked(repeatedly n had a small fight) he told that his dad took some amount from his usa based friend in inr and now that guy had called H to return that amount in USD and so H transferred the money to his fathers fren.
This is not the first time, i am seeing this since my marriage, whenever we try to do something either studies, buying car, vacation planning- my fil calls and asks for money and H never says no, H gives fil watever amount he asks for and because of this we dont have a single dollar saving.

Regarding Fil- he stays with my bil and boh fil and bil are earning handsome salaries, apart from this they are running a successful business but still depends on my H salary for their luxuries.
This time it was too much, because of H behaviour, i could not pay my fee, and would be charged late fee as well,i argued with my H and he said he could never think of saying NO to his dad.
i study during weekdays, work hard on weekends, not a single day off for me, i am doing this for me and my H, my future kids.
My H also works hard but his habit of giving money to ils pisses me off.
As of now i have some amount in India which my mom gave me on her retirement and my H is continually asking me to transfer that amount to his indian account so that he could pay his dads credit card debt. Since 2 yeras i have kept that amount as emergency fund.
2 years back he took loan of 15k from his fren and gave that to his mom for jewellery, last year he did same thing borrowed money from another fren for bil macbook, samsung galaxy phone.
when it comes to returning the loaned amount he asks me if i have any saving.
Untill and unless there is any emergency i dont like borrowing from friends, H never borrows for himself or for me but always do for ils.
Because of his habit, people have started distancing from us.
I dont share good relationship with ils, i give them due respect but they take it for granted, i also tried talking to my ils but was told not to intervene in their family matters.
What should i do, how should i make my H understand that if he wants to contrbute to his parents then he should see his own financial condition first
Please help friends, i am feeling like i am in a deep ocean and no idea where to go.

Best fish for Fish curry overseas?

February 22, 2016, 4:50 pm

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Hi All,

I am new to cooking fish . I plan to make fish curries on the weekend. Mostly curries with coconut milk etc like Kerala style. I travel between countries and I dont know what fish to use for Fish curries. I travel between France and Australia. Could you please tell me which fish is best for curries? I will note down the names and look for it in the deli.

Jesus and Judas

February 22, 2016, 5:04 pm

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The painting"Last Supper" by Leonardo Da Vinci is world famous.The painter was searching for a suitable model for Jesus for two years. At last he met one Pietro Bandinelli in a church.The boy looked very calm ,handsome radiating the same brilliance as would be expected of Jesus. Da vinci paid the person and he was much satisfied with the outcome of the painting. Still the painting was incomplete.All disciples have been brought out in the painting,except Judas.He was searching for a person whose face will be rude,ruff and stiff
to reveal the true character of Judas.

After about 5 years he met a beggar in the streets of Rome.The form,appearance & rudeness exactly resembled Judas.The famous painter hired him and completed the famous"Last Supper" with the beggar as a model for Judas. When the work was complete the painter asked the name and other personal details of the model.

The beggar revealed that he was the same'Pietro bandinelli"who posed as a model for Jesus 5 years back.Da vinci was greatly puzzled. Where did all the calmness,composure and brilliance vanish?

He didn't raise any query but thought to himself.
"In each man there is 'Jesus' and there is 'Judas' too.It is upto the individual to elevate himself as Jesus or degrade himself into Judas notwithstanding the favourable or unfavourable situations prevailing."
What a great thought !
This incident has been quoted as 'fake' in 'snopes. Com.'

Even if it is not a real incident, it brings to surface many important truths in life.Topsy turvy changes are possible and a reality also.



No human being is totally perfect or imperfect.There are two faces to each person and each activity,just like two sides of the same coin.


Rights and duties are closely related and cannot be separated from one another. Both go side by side. These are the two sides of the same coin. If the state gives the right to life to a citizen, it also imposes an obligation on him to not to expose his life to dangers, as well as to respect the life of others.



Rights can be enjoyed only in the world of duties. For every right there is corresponding duty. When the people fail to discharge their duties properly, the rights all become meaningless.


On many occasions we think that people who achieve success are brimming with confidence.
Not at all.There is a fear of failure.The fear of succeeding plays a major role than actual failing.


Success is inseparable from responsibility.Many want success but not the responsibility.Society does not allow anyone rest on earlier laurels.People are waiting to point out and analyse any embarassing incident that the victorious gentleman has faced




To be successful is much more daunting to our inner sense of safety and status quo as we do have to change.



President Nelson Mandela, of South Africa once said "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. "

I believe that good and evil stand on their own, and in any given period a community may have an abundance of one and scarcity of another.








If we were to eliminate everything that was "evil" from the world, people would then begin to discriminate between things that were "really" good, and things that were "not so" good. And... those things that weren't really all that good, but definitely not evil before, would become the new evil.

We have to have both, if we want to be able to distinguish between them. Otherwise, if there is only one, there would be no concept of the other. Good would be meaningless if everything was "good". If everything was "good"... then everything would just be ordinary things and not exceptionally good.


It is often said that there is only goodness in nature.There is nothing called 'bad or evil.Only absence of goodness makes a thing bad.good.



Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy, everyone has issues. You never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging, mocking or criticizing others. Everybody is fighting their own unique war.
It is very often the experience that marriage is the union of two imperfect persons trying to make life perfect.
'perfection is not a reality' as per science.Once further improvements are made the earlier invention which was considered perfect becomes imperfect.
If 'perfection is not a reality at all,the maxim"practice makes perfect' also becomes meaningless.can we abandon practice or efforts?Never.

Perfection is never constant.It is evolving.It is alternating as environments change.

"The day I became enlightened " simply means the day I realized that there is
nothing to achieve and there is nowhere to go and there is nothing to be done,We are already divine and we are already perfect-as we are.No improvement is needed.God never creates anybody imperfect.Even if you come across an imperfect man,his imperfection isperfect.

Now the fake incident quoted in pra 1 becomes more significant.

Jayasala 42

Women's centre in coimbatore

February 22, 2016, 7:20 pm

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Can somebody tell me about women's centre in coimbatore..and about dr.miruthubashini..i am in chennai but someone told me that coimbatore is best..so planning to travel to coimbatore!

US working women going to India for IVF treatment

February 22, 2016, 7:31 pm

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Hello,

Did any of you go to India from US for IVF treatment. How did you manage to ask for a leave. How long was the leave. What was the reason given in the office. Can I ask for WFH from India or permission to work from India office.

I am planning for one and do not know how to ask for it. I cannot afford to leave the job. I am assuming my trip could be for 3 months.

Thanks,

The Guy in the checked shirt- 3

February 23, 2016, 6:01 am

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Chapter 3
In the days that followed, my interaction with Mr. Thaadi (I still could not call him Krish…J ) was reduced to just mere Hi’s, or a wink when I passed his place, but couldn’t actually strike an actual conversation with him. One morning I noticed his friend Sandy a.k.a Sandhya was sick and struggling in the wash-room. She looked very weak and collapsible. I quickly rushed to her help and asked her if I could get anything for her. During my initial days here as the lonely small-town girl, I’ve received so much of kindness from complete strangers and since then I’ve always ensured to pass it forward in every way I can. Sandy was over-whelmed. She asked me timidly if I could get her some lime juice while we went to the café. I made her sit in the corner table nearest to the door and walked to the end of the café where we had the juice shop to get her lime drink. And to my pleasant surprise I found Mr.Thaadi at the table with Sandy. I gave her the lime juice and sat down with her. He was scowling at Sandy, who in turn was looking scared. ‘How many times do I need to tell you to eat something before you step out to office?’ he asked menacingly at her and Sandy seemed to shrink. I felt sad for the girl. I know they’re the thickest of friends but still he could not understand what a married woman must go through...all the chores, the hassle, the travel, the balancing act of home and office. ‘Let her at least finish her juice na’ I said ever so slightly when he was about to start the next round of scolding. He glared at me and kept quiet. I felt wrong. They were friends after all, maybe I should not have interfered, but I had felt sorry for Sandy. So I made up an excuse of wanting to leave as there was a meeting and left both of them.
In the days that followed Sandy had become quite attached with me. We walked together for our mini breaks and wash room chit chats. This was impressive because Sandy already had a huge entourage of friends with her (of which Mr. Thaadi was also part of…) and unknowingly I was also becoming a part of the gang (at times…). She was a sweet, talkative girl and we got along like a house on fire and during our frequent chats Mr.Thaadi would also be a spectator and at rare moments join in the fun. As time went, we got talking as well…Talking went to making fun of my tamil slang, my little hometown and lots of other stuff ranging from kavithai to other literary works. He was an ardent thala fan and I found myself slowly becoming a thala fan myself. To me he was the easiest person to talk to, and that is where I started falling for him.

Suggest some book ladies!

February 23, 2016, 7:21 am

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Ok i have been wasting too much time on the internet..so gals,suggest some books. Im not much into novels..

Thanks in advance..

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The Guy in the checked shirt -4

February 23, 2016, 7:22 am

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Chapter 4
During our period of friendship, I noticed that he was an active participant for all the Team Building fun activities team, and when Ragini left my team he was looking for a person to replace her in the Activities committee. So during one of our frequent calls (Yes we call each other now…J) we were discussing about a lot of other stuff and suddenly we happened to discuss something about women and he started telling how girls are not actively involving themselves in anything except for official activities, I had argued for the women and eventhough some of his points made sense, I simply could not give up on Girl power and during the course of the argument, he asked me if I would be able to balance both. Ofcourse I can. “Good..” he said…”You’re going to be part of the Activities gang…Welcome to the team”. I was locked! No escape. And I gladly accepted. Little did I know the work involved in it. He completely handed over all the activities during my first event planning and laughed at my struggles. I couldn’t bear to leave my gethu and ask him for help. I was struggling to pull in the people. I was so shocked that they did not want to have fun!! During one of my ‘I-don’t-know-what-the-hell-I’m-doing’ moments I suddenly find him leaning across my bay, looking amused. I gave him one of my ‘How dare you ditch all the work to me??’ looks and he seemed undisturbed. All smiles and zen calmness. And to this day, it annoys me the calmness with which he approaches an issue or a problem. ‘Any help?’ he asks. ‘Not at all’ I say..Two can play this game Mr.Thaadi…’All in control’ I continue. ‘Ok brief me on the events planned for this Friday’ and with a smug look on my face I show him the excel prepared. ‘And what about the plans for Diwali Celebrations next week?’. Crap! I’ve forgotten all about Diwali. I’m particularly not good at hiding emotions from people. My face betrays me always! He seemed to have noticed it and was all smiles again. I had to admit defeat. ‘I forgot’ I say weakly. After just a brief pause, he says ‘Ok, lets do it together then’ and he proceeds to come up with ideas and fun activities for the Diwali celebrations. I was thankful he didn’t rub it in. Yet another of his many qualities that I liked…no…loved!
The Diwali celebration was a grand affair and as a part of this event we had planned for an Ethnic wear fashion show. Sandy and a couple of other girls had turned up in sarees. And I had come in my best silk kurti for the event and as always my thaadikaaran came in his rugged look and unkempt beard. He took one look at me and asked ‘Ethnic wear?’ I said ‘Yes! Don’t I look lovely?’ He looked quizzically at me and asked ‘Is this ethnic wear?’ I said ofcourse, ‘It’s a kurti and its Indian’ He didn’t look impressed and I felt a little disappointed. ‘Well I have to run up and down until the last moment to fetch goodies and approvals and other stuff, so it wouldn’t do if I came in a saree too!’ He seemed to buy that argument and smiled. ‘Where’s yours?..you’re supposed to be in ethnic wear too!’ My turn Mr.Smart… ‘Well’ he said scratching his beard…’ I guess you would need help with your running errands. So….’ He drawled… Nice save sir. Using me as an excuse to get out of this. Not too impressive but ok enough to get him out of trouble. The event went off wonderfully and we screamed the loudest when Sandy walked the ramp. She was lithe and graceful and gorgeous. She even gave a little twirl at the end. And to no one’s surprise she bagged the ‘Best dressed’ award. Completely exhausted, I was packing my stuff to leave, I heard the squeak of a pair of shoes and I turned abruptly and unusually fast to face him and that’s when I loved my heels….Eventhough I was short and he was considerably taller than me, my heels had bridged the gap between our height, not completely...but just enough for me to stare into his eyes…directly. When people say sparks fly and chemistry happens, I was ever so skeptical. But his moment I was ashamed to admit that it would be possible to power a battery from the electricity we generated. He too hadn’t anticipated this turn of events and stood tongue-tied briefly, as was I. ‘ So…ummm Good show!’he said and cleared his throat. I took a step back and paced myself. The tension broke and I laughed. ‘Yeah well, will you please admit now that we girls can do a bloody good job of organizing as well?’ I joked. ‘Not all girls…some’ he said. Never admits defeat. Tough one this guy. ‘So will you make it in time for the cab?’ And only then I noticed that it was 9.22 and the Cab would leave by 9.30, and with absolute possibility I know that I will not be able to make it on time even if I ran like Usain Bolt.

All about Sai Upasak guruji

February 23, 2016, 8:21 am

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Hello all,
i have started this new thread for all the genuine information about Sai Upasak Guruji,
please pour your thoughts, experiences about him, pls share his consultation charges, so that new people can get true information about him,
i have consulted him, and doing the pariharams which he has suggested but the fees and puja charges are quiet high though I have paid them(prediction is 10k - and pariharams for my kundali is 1lakh and 20k)for pariharams I m paying by instalment but since I went purely by Indusladies reviews I m always thinking in the back of my mind,whether is he is genuine or not?
So many are asking more about him but others who have consulted says only subjectively,like how good and worthy he is but nobody revels their charges,how long did it take to do puja for me he said 3/4 months
so ladies kindly pls help each other by posting all the information about him and experiences, fees etc.
Also pls don't start any new astrological topic out of this same thread, it misleads others as it happened earlier, the topic name is about Guruji but later many have posted their own astrological doughts and some one was answering so pls pls keep this thread only all about Sai Upasak Guruji ...

Your help will be much appreciated!!
Thanks

Weekend nanny or housekeeping

February 23, 2016, 8:31 am

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hi I am available on weekend for nanny or housekeeping for full time or part time please feel free to contact me
07460686000

Apartment with walking distance preschool

February 23, 2016, 9:45 am

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Hello everyone,

I am looking for an apartment in Round Rock, Austin with Indian Community and walk-able preschools.

Thanks in Advance

Lack of Intimacy - So worried - Please help me

February 23, 2016, 10:25 am

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Hi,

We have been married since 11 years. We have 2 kids - My older one is 7 years and my younger is 3 years. After my older one we went through some issues with my kids health and at the same time we had our in laws and of course had some issues with them also and like this gap extended way long between us since these 7 years..

I don't even know how we got our second kid having a relation ship once in couple of months.. He lost all his interest and when ever i ask for he say he doesn't like to get along with me as i was argue with him and i didn't respect his Mom.. I told him that apologized his mom and she and me are fine since these years...Its only we are staying away..I keep telling him that he is the only one to whom i can show my tiredness and frustration at times and that is normal in a family...I use to be very quite before we had our kid...but after kid with issues of my kids health and my in laws, i was showing my anger with my H,,,,I always tell him its normal and We have to adjust and get back and we should not stay away for months like this...

Am feeling so bad and i Believe only if we have some kind of physical contact all these issues wouldn't sound big and staying away for months is not good..Please let me know how to build back our togetherness of love life...

Please help me. I am worried about my daughter's friends behavior.

February 23, 2016, 10:59 am

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Dear Friends,
My daughter is 5 yo and studies in LKG. Last month the school counselor talked to her class about good touch, bad touch and the related topics. Since that time almost all the kids in the class keep talking about nothing else but private parts (in their baby language).

I was worried but decided to remain calm because:
1) My daughter & her friends now had the necessary info to know the topic (that would help them take care of themselves).
2) I thought it was a passing phase and would die out eventually.

But of late, some of the kids in the class actually show their private parts to each other even when the counselor has told them firmly that body parts covered by swim suits should never be exposed. This worries me a lot. My daughter tells me that this happens during tiffin time or during washroom break. I am sure the teacher must be somewhere around, according to the school rules and how the kids still manage to do this worries me. So, my question is what should I tell my daughter about this? I have been repeatedly telling her that this behavior is wrong and that under no circumstances should those parts be exposed. But she sees almost all the kids doing that.

Moreover, the issue that is bothering me to no end, so much so that I feel my BP shooting up is this- one girl from her class talks incessantly about her parents. She speaks something or the other about her parents personal life almost everyday & she says things that are just too much to hear. I wish to avoid posting the details of the distasteful things here. Please excuse me. But they are gross and she is vivid in her choice of words. It is possible that she may have sneaked on her parents during the act or some older sibling or someone else may be telling her all this.

I am worried that my child's (& also her other classmates') innocence is getting ruined in all this. Please please tell me how I should handle this. I want to avoid involving the teacher or other parents in all this, if possible (I have confrontation problems). I want to just talk to my daughter but I dont know what to say to her. I keep telling her that there is a right age for everything and her age now is to devote to studies & play. Please advise what I should do. Should I ask the teacher to make my daughter sit next to someone else? I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I am worried about my daughter's future.

Please advise.

p.s. I want you all to know that I am not judging the little friend or any other classmate or even the teachers or the kids' families in anyway. I just want to preserve my daughter's innocence so that she does not get distracted by unnecessary, untimely things that could affect her studies or life in general.
Thanks.

Feeling lonely n confused

February 23, 2016, 12:48 pm

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Hi all
I just came back to USA with pil. I have 9 month old baby. Since I stayed at my parents house in India, my baby is not ready to go towards my pil. My baby is already jetlagged and I am not being able to offer any help in the kitchen to my mil.
My sil is also staying with us. Mil n sil together doing all household work. Sil is now showing off that she is only doing all the work like cooking and I am not being of any help.
My most of the time is spent looking after my baby.
i can enter the kitchen with sil and mil. But m afraid of cat fights with sil. Also I don't want to get pissed off by doing all the household work along with the baby.
Please help me handle the situation.

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Kids and age

February 23, 2016, 4:00 pm

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Hi Ladies,

I need your sincere opinion ladies.

Its been 15 years I am married. I had some complications with my pregnancy and I had miscarriages several times. At last I had a baby who is now 2 plus yeas. Since I am married, I always wanted two kids. Now I am 39, and I badly want 2nd kid. My question is will it look odd, if I go for 2nd kid now. I will be 40 plus by the time I have my kid, assuming everything works out fine. I am also thinking in the line of, when we become old, both my kids can take care of each other.

Please advice, how do I deal with the society. Nobody except my husband is supporting.

I am in Love - Links to Episodes

February 23, 2016, 5:17 pm

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Hi Friends,

Posting the links to each episode below to make it more easier. Will keep updating this thread whenever a new episode is posted. Please post in your feedbacks in the main story thread itself. Thank you all for your continuous support and encouraging words.

Is today a special day for you ?

February 23, 2016, 7:19 pm

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Why today is special for you ? 24/02/16

For those who read this . .. (Why because I do know well how many will read this ,Who will read this ?


Excitement,Unexpected news,a little tension with peace of mind later,State of confusion,need for money,patience pays today.

Welcome your suggestions for the Header image

February 23, 2016, 7:45 pm

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Dear IL'ites,

We have received a few feedback in the past about the smiling Indian Ladies image in the "Header". It's time for a change now and we want to welcome your suggestions for the same.

Of course, we are looking for suggestions that would represent the concept "Indian Women Community" and we are looking for those that will fit in that space in the header.

What would you like to see in the header? Looking forward to some great suggestions.

Doubt about doing Poorvangam before Upanayanam

February 23, 2016, 8:19 pm

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Hi, we are planning to do Upanayanam for our son in our Kuladeivam temple (near Kumbakonam). Can we do the Poorvangam (Udaka Shanthi and Nandi) be done at home in Chennai before 3 days or should it be done only on the previous day?

Thanks in Advance.